MOST ALONE TIME

                                                          

Last week the media repeatedly re-told the stories of two recent suicides by celebrities, mostly stating that “she died, he died”, when the tragic fact is she killed herself, he killed himself.

The moment immediately prior to the act itself must be the most alone time for any human being. It is the moment when the mind is filled with poisoned thinking and lies, the emotions are in profound darkness and hopelessness, and in that aloneness the yearning to be freed from the pain disables rational thought and the weakened will chooses to stop the pain, without the person having any prior experience of the finality of their action, for death is a one of.

Once the act is done it is final.

Time we avoid the almost banal word: suicide and name it truthfully: self-murder.

There was a time, before the development of modern psychiatry, when it was assumed self-murder was a purely free-will act.

The openness of the Church to what can be learned over the ages from greater understanding of human emotions, impact of trauma upon a person’s ability to endure physical and emotional pain, put an end to the erroneous understanding of self-murder always being a purely free-will act.

That said in our day the issue has become complicated by, in Canada for example, the legalization of doctor assisted self-murder.

Truly we are deep in the cold darkness of the culture of death.

Often there is intense social pressure, lack of a vibrant social life, in the lives of individuals who act alone to self-murder, while often familial pressure, upon the infirm and the elderly forces them to chose assisted self-murder.

The Church teaches: Everyone is responsible for his life before God who has given it to him. It is God who remains the sovereign Master of life. We are obliged to accept life gratefully and preserve it for His honour and the salvation of our souls. We are stewards, not owners, of the life God has entrusted to us. It is not ours to dispose of……[Catechism of the Catholic Church #2280]

At the same time the Church takes compassionate note of the fact that: Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide. We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to Him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. the Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives. [see op. cit. paras: 2282,83]

St. John Paul II reminds us: To concur with the intention of another person to commit suicide and to help in carrying it out through so-called "assisted suicide" means to cooperate in, and at times to be the actual perpetrator of, an injustice which can never be excused, even if it is requested. In a remarkably relevant passage Saint Augustine writes that "it is never licit to kill another: even if he should wish it, indeed if he requests it because, hanging between life and death, he begs for help in freeing the soul struggling against the bonds of the body and longing to be released; nor is it licit even when a sick person is no longer able to live". …. euthanasia must be called a false mercy, and indeed a disturbing "perversion" of mercy. True "compassion" leads to sharing another's pain; it does not kill the person whose suffering we cannot bear. [cf. The Gospel of Life, Ch. III, para. 66]

No government can morally legislate any laws which contravene Divine Law, therefore such laws require Christians, indeed everyone who acknowledges or at least knows of Divine Law, to disobey such ersatz laws.

When it comes to human beings, as acting persons we have free will.

 Killing ourselves is the ultimate abuse of the freedom gifted to us.

 If the decision has already been made it is well nigh impossible to prevent because such of our brothers and sisters who have made the decision tend to be extremely capable of keeping their choice hidden until family and friends are left with the profound pain of not having prevented death.

The violation of charity which is constitutive of self-murder is made visible in the survivors, family and friends, blaming themselves for something NOT their fault.

The command of Jesus to love one another as we love ourselves should compel us to act if we notice someone we love, family, co-worker, neighbour, suddenly, for example, giving away personal treasured items, speaking ways not part of their normal discourse, revealing they are depressed, overly anxious, lacking hope, posting hints on social media.

Our loving, compassionate action may well prevent another tragedy.

Charity is the total self-gift to other remembering: “If I give a little, it costs a lot. Give a lot, it costs a little. Give everything, it costs nothing at all.” {word of Melkite Archbishop Joseph Raya [1916-2005]}

A major contributing factor to self-murder, or assisted self-murder, is as a society we have forgotten the difference between pain and suffering.

So much so that in 1984, seeking to remind us of the difference, St. John Paul II wrote an apostolic letter: Salvifici Doloris [On the Christian Meaning of Human Suffering]: …..interior maturity and spiritual greatness in suffering are certainly the result of a particular conversion and cooperation with the grace of the Crucified Redeemer. It is he himself who acts at the heart of human sufferings through his Spirit of truth, through the consoling Spirit. It is he who transforms, in a certain sense, the very substance of the spiritual life, indicating for the person who suffers a place close to himself. …… Suffering is, in itself, an experience of evil. But Christ has made suffering the firmest basis of the definitive good, namely the good of eternal salvation. By his suffering on the Cross, Christ reached the very roots of evil, of sin and death…… ….slowly but effectively, Christ leads into this world, into this Kingdom of the Father, suffering man, in a certain sense through the very heart of his suffering. For suffering cannot be transformed and changed by a grace from outside, but from within. And Christ through his own salvific suffering is very much present in every human suffering and can act from within that suffering by the powers of his Spirit of truth, his consoling Spirit. [op. cit. Ch. VI, para: 26]

Pain is treatable, both physical and emotional pain, while the suffering aspect of pain is a gift to embraced, in and with Christ.

Let us not however forget that it is an act of authentic self-love to avail ourselves of any moral means to ease pain.

People who self-murder do not opt per se for death as much as they opt for an end to the pain.

…..although our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to what is seen but to what is unseen; for what is seen is transitory, but what is unseen is eternal. [2 Cor. 4:16-18]

Jesus said, “I have come that they might have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10).

Let us pray for our brothers and sisters who are in the most alone moment that they will hear Jesus knocking at the door of their being [cf.Rev.3:20], open to Him, allow Him to fill them with His light and love.